TUESDAY, JULY 22, 2008

I’ve pretty much been ignoring my blog – this being my busiest summer yet since giving birth a decade ago. Both C and I have been heard on several occasions this season saying “NEVER AGAIN will our summer be so scheduled.”

Three days after school let out (as in elementary school and not graduate school – another topic all together) the four of us packed swimsuits and flip flops and flew to Fort Myers, FL, where we spent a week in a beachfront house on Captiva Island with C’s family.

Except for the house elevator that opened into our bedroom – and the fact that my niece and nephew were determined to use IT as their only mode of transport to the second floor – we had an exceptional time.

Just two days after arriving home from Florida N started an all-day, week-long basketball camp at the U of M with Gopher head coach Tubby Smith. I was never able to break it to N that the sweatbands he bought at the company store and wore so proudly throughout the duration of camp were, in fact, only “cool” in a Dodgeball sort of way, which I don’t think is what he and his buddy were going for.

The following week was the week of July fourth, which we spent at the home of my good friend Fab Ab, who’s family we affectionately refer to as The Brady Bunch (Fab Ab being Carol but with a sense of adventure and a love of fish tacos and cold beer; her soft-spoken, super-sensible, vegetable-hating husband being Peter – childhood and all – and their three kids: Bobby, Marsha and Cindy – who’s actually more of a Cindy Lou Who). As it was N and E’s first Fourth of July in the big city we were able to take them to a parade with actual marching bands and a professional fireworks display that garnered more than 30 minutes of oohing and ahhing. Usually we’re in the UP of MI with my mom enjoying a parade made up mostly of men in muscle shirts driving monster trucks and little boys who should still be in booster seats driving four-wheel ATVs, our only fireworks show coming from C and the odds and ends he picked up at one of those roadside fireworks stands we passed somewhere during our drive across the ENTIRE state of Wisconsin (my mom’s place is heaven but we endure eight hours of hell to get there). We spent the majority of this year’s Fourth hanging out at Brady Bunch central (yes, even Fab Ab’s house resembles the home of the Brady’s, just updated/upgraded). And don’t laugh, but we even played croquet in the front lawn. We had a wonderful time.

The following weekend was my birthday -- E's, too (she was born on my 32nd). So on Thursday the two of us drove to my cousin P’s house in WI where we spent the night. The next morning E, P, her daughter H – my goddaughter who turned 9 that same weekend – and me packed up my minivan and drove to Chicago

where we spent the weekend at the Intercontinental on Michigan Ave but mostly all of our time at American Girl Place – because seven years ago I resigned myself to the fact that my birthday would from now on be celebrated by E’s standards. Except for the infamous Chicago traffic we were tortured with on our drive in and the unlucky deer I clipped on the way home (who ran off into the woods and whom I’m telling myself had minor injuries and healed quickly) – and in spite of endless hours spent shopping and standing in line at AG Place – we had a fabulous time and enjoyed great food, good drinks and watching numerous chick flicks from bed while the girls slept.

Two days after E and I arrived home from our girls’ weekend we welcomed C’s parents, his sister and her 8-year-old son and 4-year-old daughter (and N and E’s only first cousins until my sister’s baby arrives in a few months). They all stayed at our house for five days, which contrary to C’s parents’ belief wasn’t too long/crowded/stressful/uncomfortable. Other than the fact that C’s sister is Oscar to his Felix (and her kids are like her and ours are like us) it was no trouble at all to have five additional people living under our roof. We had fun, and their visit got us to places we hadn’t yet explored since moving back here.

The day after C’s family left (that would be yesterday) N and E started a week-long art camp along with their best friends J and A, whom they hadn’t seen for nearly two weeks – I think all four of them may still be recovering from symptoms of withdrawal even though J and A slept over the night C’s family left.

So here we are. E and her friend A are at art camp and N and J are at the Edina public pool with J’s little brothers (a.k.a. Thing One and Thing Two) and their nanny because N and J decided art camp “sucked.” J told G he was so bored he almost fell asleep. And N said something like “the space is gross and crappy and the projects are too hard.” N, too, is a Felix and the art studio was definitely hippy dippy – well below N’s clean-as-an-operating-table standards. He can’t help it…it’s in the genes. C’s dad is a surgeon and C is incredibly meticulous and careful – I used to have to frequently remind him to not be overzealous when giving E a bath (too much soap = irritated privates) and I occasionally overhear him consoling inanimate objects – like our car and the dining room table – after they’ve been abused by the kids or me.

E and A are loving art camp. I knew it’d be right up E’s alley when I spotted the bright red high-heel shoe sitting on the receptionist counter – it was made entirely out of duct tape and was reminiscent of a sculpture (for lack of a better word) E made at my mom’s house a few months back. E was bored so my mom told her to go down to the basement and rummage around. E came back up with a deflated balloon, an old winter hat, two plastic fruit skewers and duct tape…and made this (her?):

The last two days the girls have been working on sculptures made from aluminum foil. A’s making a dog. E’s making an eel and some jellyfish. And today two pet rats were brought in for the kids to draw – and play with. No surprise, E now wants a hooded rat.

C and I were hoping to have some alone time this week to just hang out, play a bit of tennis or walk around the lake, but I spent today’s child-free hours writing. And unless N goes to the pool again tomorrow we won’t have any more child-free hours this week because Thursday we leave for Big Mom’s house in the woods (translate: my mom’s off-the-grid retreat in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan). And the kids I will be gone for 2 ½ weeks. After which time N and E will have only one week at home before flying off to Kentucky, where they’ll spend two weeks with C’s parents. C and I will go down for the second week and the four of us will come home the day before school starts. Whew. So that’s that. And then we’re back into the weekly routine -- the whole cycle making me feel like a hamster in a cage. There could be worse things, I guess. I could actually be a hamster in a cage.

THURSDAY, JULY 10, 2008

Tonight four of my favorite people took me out for my birthday -- G, Fab Ab, L and R with the red hair. Considering it was only the second meeting for Fab Ab and L and the first meeting for R with the red hair and everyone else, we had the most splendid time, and everyone connected as though they'd known each other forever. It was a blast (thank you, Thom, for the best champagne EVER)!

And after wine, a shot of tequilla (my first ever) and champagne, I am SO ready for bed. But I first have to say...I feel incredibly fortunate to have such fabulous friends. Thank you.

And don't worry Fab Ab. Honestly, you weren't the only dork to sign high school yearbooks with the phrase "Party hardy." It was a LONG time ago. It was the 80s -- we forgive you. But your friends from high school would be proud...you're still going strong decades later!

WEDNESDAY, JULY 9, 2008

So the stress that comes when the one-and-only employed member of the family is laid off is already a thing of the past. C has been contacted by numerous people over the past 10 days regarding several interesting positions and yesterday was formally offered a veep position within another division of the same company that laid him off a week ago.

After C was let go and the local paper announced the company-wide layoffs, I read several online comments regarding the article – from ex-employees who’d left the company because of unethical practices and frustration with apparent greed to comments about how we shouldn’t knock a company that has brought so many jobs to Minnesota. I then posted my own thoughts:

True, UHG is a large employer in MN. Maybe TOO large. Some at the top who aren't effective are rewarded while some of the "unknowns" who are extremely effective, knowledgeable, working hard and bringing in business are laid off. Someone close to me went in last week to find a handwritten card from an EVP praising his work, knowledge and skills and just hours later was laid off because his position was eliminated. It's unconsciable that after announcing reductions at all levels the CEO wrote "our enterprise will continue to hire and reward high performers and remove those who are not contributing." Does he really think making a statement like this will reassure those who still have a job? Did he consider the impact it could have on the talented people who were laid off? Why would anyone want to come back into the company in another role after being kicked in the gut not once but twice?

Then some hateful person – who hopefully doesn’t hold a position at the company allowing him any decision-making power above whether or not to have a hamburger or a cheese-filled chicken breast from the corporate cafeteria – replied with this:

Thought I was reding the Yahoo morons chat.

To all you former employees that think you have even a small clue YOU Don't and we are better off that you bailed rather then stayed and tried to improve the organization. I am willing to bet you where fired not quit and good riddance. As for the comment about removing the non contributing employees he was exactly correct in what he said, regardless of the company, in tough economic times as we are in, the first to go are the slackers and hangers on that keep there job by doing just enough.. Olive12 unless you are at the top how would you know if the people at the top aren't effective or are you making an assumption that all senior executives don't do anything. Of course they look at the bottom line and the org chart after all they are in the business to MAKE money, funny you all have a problem with a public corporation trying to do what is expected of them in a free market economy, This is a very good company to work for and has always treated me and those that work with me fairly and honestly from the contractors to the Full time folks. Keep in mind you have to WORK for them to make a difference and be noticed something I gather most of you did not do very well.

And immediately after, he posted this:

what is with the ' not working. is this paper getting ready to print in a different language? what kind of print media is it that can not even make a ' apostrophe work?

My first thought was "Oh my God! I can't believe this dude still has a job! Who would hire him? Why hasn't he been laid off? Or is it not legal to fire someone for simply being an idiot?" But I responded with only this, knowing even it was too much energy wasted on this guy: 

Wow, pantherBH. I wouldn't want you representing MY company. You're ill-informed, hateful and don't know how to spell. I'd be less worried about the apostrophe and more concerned with your horrific grammar (it's THEIR and not THERE, for example). Also, there are actually people who don't have time to toot their own horn because they're busy doing their job, and quite effectively.

He shot back the following, which is to be expected of someone who lives in his parents’ basement, where he hangs out every night in his underwear posting nonsensical comments to nearly every local news story between visits to teenage chat rooms and games of World of Warcraft:

olive12 Funny how people who have no rebuttal always try and pick on peoples spelling and grammar.

I’m wondering if I shouldn't post another comment informing Mr. Yahoo Moron that a “slacker and hanger on” was – eeek! – asked back into the company, and in a high-level position.

Moving on…I was hoping C would’ve taken a job with a smaller and more progressive company that actually considers their employees on occasion. But nothing was moving along as fast as this particular position and – true to form – Greed, Inc. demanded C give them an answer within two days and start within two weeks. Seriously. You’d think after laying off C – and 3,999 other people – without any notice (C was told a whole week in advance – I guess as their way of thanking him for his contribution) senior management would be empathetic and understand him needing more than two days to consider all his options (many of which are within the company). I get that big business is all about make more money, owning more and controlling more. And I realize C is being forced to make a quick decision so they don’t lose him to another division within the company, or to the competition. But it still stinks. And C’s too nice to accept the position with the intent to resign if something more rewarding comes along. He’ll put everything he has into this new job and discard all thought and talk of other opportunities. Instead of getting all self-righteous and ranting as I tend to do (shocking, I know) I’ve decided to look at the situation as C’s way into (or at least toward) the inner executive circle, where he may one day lead the company in a different, more compassionate and reasonable direction. It’s either that or I pretend he’s going off to work alongside Desmond Tutu every day.

WEDNESDAY, JULY 2, 2008

It’s no secret teenage boys do REALLY stupid things. When I was a teen my male friends did incredibly ridiculous things, like the time one of them threw a bath towel over a bright lamp thinking the heat from the bulb would help dry the towel – which it did. But the towel not only dried out, it started on fire – a fire that spread from the towel to a chest of drawers to halfway across the room.

Or the time a couple of my male friends ordered a pizza from Domino’s but gave the address for the house across the street so that while the delivery person was walking to the door of a household not expecting him my friends could hop into the guy’s running car and drive away – not because my friends wanted the car or anything in it (i.e., a dozen pizzas and a bag full of cash). Nope. They simply parked the car a few blocks away and ran home. How stupid is that? Not to mention MEAN. Oh yeah, and illegal.

And I’ll never forget the time my closest male friend thought it’d be fun to quietly crawl out the back window of my orange VW Fox and up onto the hood to ‘surf’ without telling me – me who was driving 35 mph down a city street at the time. He most likely didn’t anticipate that my girlfriend in the passenger seat would scream bloody murder when she noticed him pulling himself up onto the hood of my car, a scream that caused me to slam on the brakes and in turn caused my male friend to be thrown through the air OVER my car and onto the pavement in front of my car – I nearly ran him over. Needless to say, it was several months before I let him ride in my car again – long after I stopped having night terrors about the insane amounts of blood I saw squirting and pouring out of multiple places on his body simultaneously as he lay still on an emergency room operating table. I did allow him to come over to my house nearly every day that summer, however, but he came over by bicycle or on foot and only so my mom – God bless her and her rolling tea carts full of medicinal plants – could rub fresh aloe goo all over his face and upper body.

But when I read about this 16-year-old boy who demonstrated – over and over again – how to make an 18-month-old baby “fly” I was dumbfounded. Seriously?! Is this a teenage boy or a demon child? Couldn’t he have picked a less insane (not to mention less criminal and inhumane) stupid-teenage-boy thing to demonstrate for a YouTube video?

http://www.walb.com/global/story.asp?s=8587003

TUESDAY, JULY 1, 2008

I haven't posted an entry for nearly a month, and I'm dying for things to slow down around here so I have time to write -- I'd forgotten what summers are like with kids at home!

Things both good and bad have kept me away. Two weeks mid-June were hectic with end-of-school activities for N and E, and we then spent a week on Captiva Island with C's family. Very fun and relaxing. But we arrived home to find out the Minneapolis-based Goliath C works for (past tense as of tomorrow) is in the process of layoffs and C was given a one-week notice and a one-month severance package. Nice way to thank someone who's contributed to bringing in a tremendous amount of business. I don't know how my hubby can continue to put up with corporate bullshit -- he's much more practical and calm than I am, that's for sure. My self-righteous, fairness-above-all-else personality gets me into trouble, and if I were in C's shoes this last week I would've most likely burned a few bridges. C and I are experiencing first hand why people we know and people who know people we know have left that company out of frustration and/or disgust.

I've most likely -- as usual -- shared more than I should so I'll move on, for now.

C and I aren't extremely stressed out about not having any money coming in; we both know he'll be employed again very soon (as do dozens of industry peers and other company-being-discussed execs who have shared with him how wonderful he is, what a great job he's done and how successful they know he'll be -- hopefully with a competitor of said company). C is currently interviewing for other executive positions within said giant company -- something I wish he didn't have to do. He really likes (liked?) his job, though, as well as the industry and is interested in other challenging positions within various divisions of the company. But it's highly probable we may have to move to another city, even if he stays with the company -- something I'm trying to not get wigged out about until it comes closer to being a reality. Even though I get restless and tend to desire change, I'm not yet ready to think about the stress and trauma a relocation will cause the kids (especially N!) or what life will be like without G.

My mom suggested we sell our house and leave city life to run a small gourmet grocery store in Garden, Michigan (the only civilization within 30 minutes of my mom's Lake Michigan retreat). She thinks it'd be fabulous if we built a house next to hers and lived there full time, in the woods on a remote corner of the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. I'm up for just about anything, and even suggested we instead open an all-natural spa nearby, but Carlos thinks it's the craziest thing he's ever heard -- and between my mom and me he hears A LOT of crazy things -- and the 40-minute round-trip drive down and back up the rocky trail my mom calls a road I'd have to endure five mornings and five afternoons a week to get the kids to the school bus would drive me batty very quickly.

So I'm thinking a winning lottery # would really help right about now!